Sunday, November 27, 2011

Black Friday

Being from a family that is not the stereotypical Sheboygan county German, my family has views and opinions that tend not to be normal. We love our raw beef and onion sandwiches, we have a pair of wooden clogs that have been passed down the family tree, and yes my grandparents have the little dutch boy and girl kissing in front of a wooden windmill in the backyard. 
My family has always been very cheap, to the point where ever gathering is a pot luck. Even when one of my uncles was out of a job everyone thought they were really doing their part........by bringing something for him to the pot luck. This just to give you an idea of how important money is to these people. Black Friday? All I have to say is 4 words "get the war paint" these people will go H.A.M (hard as a mother......) for anything 25% off or more. My grandmother in her 70's was right there with the crowd of people standing out in the cold, ready to beat someone like a red headed step child over a 2 for $6 1lb of yarn deal at Joan Fabrics. 

All seriousness aside I always give my family crap that even though I may be thrifty and know how to pinch a penny, does not mean I'm crazy like they are. I have a theory that being dutch is not a taught lifestyle its genetic. I'm adopted and I've been submersed in Dutch customs and lifestyle, but I still manage to know when its safe to slurg and to be honest I dont have "hungry eyes" when I'm looking through the day after thanksgiving shopping. 

Sunday, November 13, 2011

to soon for Christmas decorations?

The tree's are almost done doing their fall duty of creating a colorful blanket for the ground, the thermometers are getting low, and the ticking of gas stoves means a nice chocolaty treat. With Thanksgiving getting closer and closer by the minute people are bracing themselves for harsh impact of Wisconsin's unforgiving winters. 

Just yesterday my mom asked me if I would be home tomorrow to help with some of the family's traditional inside Christmas decorations. I asked her "don't you think its a little soon to be putting stuff up already"? all she had to say was "its not everything"......that doesn't mean much in our house. If there is a surface area large enough for garland to be taped, draped, or stapled; its going to happen. Why my mother wanted to put up the large 5 foot by 3 foot "Christmas village" up before thanksgiving is beyond me. her defense was "if I put this up before Thanksgiving I'll have a head start on Christmas" when exactly is she going to stop and enjoy the Thanksgiving holiday if she is already preparing herself for Christmas before the turkey has even been cut?

After making the mistake once my father never put the Christmas lights up after Thanksgiving. After watching that poor man struggle attaching the lights to the house in the middle of a snow storm, I cant blame him for doing it over a month in advance; I learned a lesson just watching him remove the miniature icicles from his beard. 

Thanksgiving was never given a true fighting chance. "Black Friday" alone casts a large shadow on Thanksgiving. Some people are outside waiting days in advance and miss their thanksgiving just to get the latest gadgets and gizmos, I know my mom is hunting online through all the insightful websites while she stuffing the holiday bird. 

To me personally I really never had any form of "Thanksgiving spirit" because everyone around me was so concentrated on making Christmas memorable before Thanksgiving even happened! Maybe we should all slow down and enjoy each holiday as they come, so stop trying to untangle your Christmas lights, stop setting up your nativity scenes, and yes for you Christmas extremists like my mother stop setting up your to scale Christmas villages before thanksgiving even roles around. 

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Lifes a bitch...then you marry one...then you die.....but I cant get married...So I just die

As I'm sitting next to my ever so sexy friend Sierra, we look at each other and have to ask ourselves......whats wrong with us? Neither one of us have ever had a serious relationship, why you may ask? Were still trying to figure that out; we'll get back to you when have the answer. Now the point of this blog is not to sit here and preach about the sadness that is our love life's, but to hopefully by typing and reading this out loud we can answer our own problems in the form of creative writing.

I've been out of the closet for the last 3 years already and romance just isn't my thing. The opportunity has presented itself in the past but I never acted on it. I know I have commitment issues and its probably rooted in the fact that I was abandoned as a baby and orphaned until I was 3.I've Found something wrong with every guy that has presented themselves to me, some with actual deal breaking characteristics and some just for superficial shallow characteristics. Making ever knight in shining armor into a idiot in tin foil.

Being single isn't all that bad either. How some people bitch and complain 24/7 about not having boyfriend/girlfriend is the phase before the horses of Armageddon start prancing in. Clearly I've lived the last almost 19 years without somebody in my life and I'm still breathing you yourself shall carry on. Besides you can always be "looking at the merchandise", Window shopping, or just sit there and listen to your friends complain about the heartache that goes along with having a relationship.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

whoroween

Growing up Halloween was always my favorite Holiday and I just loved the idea of dressing up. Now that I'm 18 I'm at that awkward phase, I'm to old to go trick or treating, but I'm to young to go to the adult Halloween parties. Plus the fact that I had a night class from 5:30-8....It was like there was no Halloween at all for me. 

I've seen my fair share of skimpy revealing Halloween costumes and I approve. I will own up to dressing like a play boy bunny and wear just enough not to show the whole show but just enough that it always feels like there is a "draft", so why would I pass any judgment on other people who do the same. I say if you want to walk around wearing nothing, shaking like you have Parkinson's disease your so cold with nipples so hard you could cut glass....why not? Any other day of the year you would be called a whore but Halloween its socially acceptable

My personal favorite is the people that mentally and emotionally scar you with costumes of Disney movie characters you grew up with. Now I don't know about you but when I was watching Minnie on tv she never had a garter belt on. Jasmine never walked around saying "I'll rub your lamp for a snickers", and Sleeping beauty was not a walking date rape joke.